With school not starting for a few more days, I decided to take a ski adventure into the mountains.  The plan was to drive up FR 517 until the snow stopped the truck and skin from there.  Also part of the plan was to build a snow shelter, camp for the night, skin up some more and enjoy the views before heading back to the truck.  A cheap fix to the swelling cabin fever of the Christmas break.  A combination of bad sleep, poor decisions, and deeper than expected snow resulted in a day trip of just a few hours of skiing.  Not exactly the plans I had  envisioned when scouring topo maps and the weather forecast.  Even though it was an abbreviated adventure thanks to the culmination of calamities the fresh air, silence, and spitting snow over the vast landscape provided perspective .  Along with my ski tracks were those of fox, rabbit, deer, elk, and presumably chasing them all wolves.  The harshness of winter gives the landscape a new slate that shows the activity of the forest.  A story that says out here I am alone.  Just a visitor passing through who should enjoy what’s here before the falling snow starts the story over.

We become incapacitated as our stomachs attempt to take inventory of all the goodness crammed down our throat.  The battle going on in our gut is ignored.  We’re no longer thinking rational, this need to consume is in the DNA, and can only be shutoff by the passing of the holidays.

Pushing away from the table, it takes all our strength to slumber to the couch.  Gravity takes hold of the weight in our gut and we collapse towards the couch.  With only the thought of hibernation weighing on our mind we accelerate towards the cushions .  Confident we’ve engulfed enough reserves to fuel our body through the winter, our eyes close before impact with the pillows.

Aside from food bonging, there is supposed to be a meaning and purpose of Thanksgiving.  Simply, it is to give thanks.  But, before the gravitational pull of the couch consumes my gluttonous body to the depths of its pillows, I have to ask myself a question.  Why is it should I give thanks on Thanksgiving?  In a world that offers hollow promises of greener pastures, I am asked on this one day to say to myself, “What I have here, this is to be thankful for.”  On Thanksgiving, there aren’t supposed to be any greener pastures than the one I’m standing in.  While this is the case, it’s too easily forgotten the other 364 days of the year.  So this year I’m not only thankful for the green pasture I find myself standing in, but for writing this short post to remind me that after the turkey is picked clean, the Lions game is over, and our piled masses recoup on the couch the real purpose of Thanksgiving shouldn’t be lost on the next 364 days.

* The preceding was a coffee induced ramble.  Bottom line, I don’t want to waste my life.  Time is short, as are midgets.

1: Senate seeks a Compromise on Financial Reform Bill
The article includes a picture of Obama giving a speech with arms outstretched.  The imagery gives the impression that safety rests under the wings of Barry.  That, with the needed change comes hope…or some bullshit like that.  Anyway, the article addresses the “need” for sweeping financial reform so we “never” have another financial meltdown.  You have to love reform.  How can we forget the recent health care reform bill.  The one that was supposed to extend coverage to millions AND save money..wait, whats this..it will COST more…good thing we find that out AFTER it is passed.  It further goes on to declare the need for a new agency to protect consumers in the marketplace.  Oh another agency!  This is fantastic…(See headline 3) Other statements in the article say that “we need to reign in Wall St. risky practices.”  Correct me if I’m wrong here but the majority of the financial crisis was created by defaults on subprime mortgages.  Those mortgages were urged by Congress, so everyone had the “right” to home ownership.  Makes about as much sense as taking a dook in my front yard.

2) Goldman, White House ties raise eyebrows
So Goldman is shackin’ up at the the White House…Gee I am shocked.  These “Wall St. Fatcats” who need to be reigned in to avoid another financial crisis, donated about a million bucks to Obamas 08 Presidential run.  Then while under investigation from the SEC, their CEO visited the White House numerous times.  SEC..we’ll cover those guys in headline 3, where they’re on top of their game.

3) SEC Workers Were Watching Porn as Economy Tanked
In their defense, it probably is more exciting watching a wobbly H than plummeting stock charts.  I digress, back to the main point of the current financial reform push.  The Administration is saying we need more oversight, so we don’t have another financial crisis.  I can see it now…the SEC offices don’t have cubicles but coin operated booths where they put in gold coins (tax payer $) and the curtain raises to show pole dancers holding top financial firms latest earnings reports.  As the SEC execs sit in the shadows smoking stogies they contemplate the risks of these fat cats.  The curtain closes as the timer runs out.  Question, if Goldman was in bed with the White House, would the SEC watch?  Maybe if they got to 2nd base on a webcam.  This is a system that I have confidence won’t let another meltdown happen. (sarcasm)

4) B of A wants to let jobless skip house payments
Because we simply cannot let those people miss a payment.  I mean times are tough.  So tough in fact that Uncle Sam has extended benefits to 99 weeks by extending payroll taxes.  The incentives to be unemployed are starting to outweigh the pros of being employed.  I should just buy an Xbox and get fired, life would be great.  And what does BofA have to fear, if they run out of money, I’m sure Uncle Sam would be glad to step in with an IOU.

So since I believe everything I read I can only conclude that we need more financial reform and agency oversight  so we can have more agencies who watch porn and more corporations who are in bed with politicians.  And just in case a company does something where they will lose revenue, Uncle Sam will be there like a nurturing mother because they are “too big to fail.”   Actually it seems the problem more lies with Washington.  Can I get a hell yeah for lobbyist, politician reform?

Wherever I go, my Census and Me!!!…..My Census won’t be used for “counting every man, woman, and child.”  Instead I’ll utilize it as toilet paper, a napkin, a coffee filter, roll it up as a telescope, a frisbee, fold it up as a sailor hat, a rag to wash the floor, put it in the spokes of my bike so it sounds like a motorcycle,a nonstick liner for my casserole dish, a floor mat for my truck, a blanket, chopped up for confetti in a pinch, taped back together as head cover for my golf clubs, and umbrella, a sail for my boats in the bathtub, taped on my pants to hide the coffee stain, scraping ice off my windshield, a shim for the wobbly table at the diner, rolled up as a straw, a sled, taped on my window to “go green” and insulate my house, replace a roof shingle, a scoop to clean out the litter box, a coaster for the coffee table, a kite, a handkerchief, paper airplane, crumpled in my speedo for bulge enhancement, insoles for my sneakers, a mousepad, cutout as a paper snowflake in winter, taped back together in Spring as a tent for camping, a shield for sword fights, something to 3 hole punch when I’m bored at the office, something to fill in between stacks of $20′s when trying to pull a fast one on the mob, a folder, a paper target for my BB gun, on second though maybe I’ll crumple it up as a basketball and put it in the trash can.

**********UPDATE**********

After a weekend of drowning the spoon in icy waters I’m happy to report it was a success.  The recession is over and my dinner plate is no longer empty.  Here are some pics of the fish fooled with the Slabbin’ Spoon.